祖母的忌日 no. 3
Suddenly remember its my grandma's anniversary today.
Two years today at around 2+ am. In my kitchen.
Not particularly close to her coz i would only see her every CNY, not withstanding our communication gap.
How long would it take for me to forget what she look like? and about this day?
In a way, i'm glad she did died in my kitchen coz at least i was around when the candle snuffed. It's kind of funny, but at that point in time, i was watching a jap drama on ambulance drivers and their colleagues if a hospital.
As such, i'm going out tonight to have a great time. Partly because that's prob what she would want for me also.
The other part... well, it can be best explained in this story :
When Zhuang Zi's wife died and Hui Shi came to convey his condolences, he found Zhuang Zi squatting with his knees out, drumming on a pan and singing ''You lived with her she raised your children, and you grew old together", Hui Shi said "Not weeping when she died would have been bad enough. Aren't you going too far by drumming on a pan and singing ?""No," Zhuang Zi said, "when she first died how could I have escaped feeling the loss? Then I looked back to the beginning before she had life Not only before she had life but before she had form. Not only before she had form, but before she had vital energy. In this confused amorphous realm, something changed and vital energy appeared,- when the vital energy was changed, form appeared; with changes in form, life began. Now there is another change bringing death This is like the progression of the four seasons of spring and fall, winter and summer. Here she was lying down to sleep in a huge room and I followed her sobbing and wailing. When I realized my actions showed I hadn't understood destiny, I stopped."
– Translations from the Sayings of Zhuang Zi (庄子), a Taoist Sage.
*Just a last thought. In this joke that we call Life, how many people are there, who have passed us by, that are almost as good as being dead to us now?
Two years today at around 2+ am. In my kitchen.
Not particularly close to her coz i would only see her every CNY, not withstanding our communication gap.
How long would it take for me to forget what she look like? and about this day?
In a way, i'm glad she did died in my kitchen coz at least i was around when the candle snuffed. It's kind of funny, but at that point in time, i was watching a jap drama on ambulance drivers and their colleagues if a hospital.
As such, i'm going out tonight to have a great time. Partly because that's prob what she would want for me also.
The other part... well, it can be best explained in this story :
When Zhuang Zi's wife died and Hui Shi came to convey his condolences, he found Zhuang Zi squatting with his knees out, drumming on a pan and singing ''You lived with her she raised your children, and you grew old together", Hui Shi said "Not weeping when she died would have been bad enough. Aren't you going too far by drumming on a pan and singing ?""No," Zhuang Zi said, "when she first died how could I have escaped feeling the loss? Then I looked back to the beginning before she had life Not only before she had life but before she had form. Not only before she had form, but before she had vital energy. In this confused amorphous realm, something changed and vital energy appeared,- when the vital energy was changed, form appeared; with changes in form, life began. Now there is another change bringing death This is like the progression of the four seasons of spring and fall, winter and summer. Here she was lying down to sleep in a huge room and I followed her sobbing and wailing. When I realized my actions showed I hadn't understood destiny, I stopped."
– Translations from the Sayings of Zhuang Zi (庄子), a Taoist Sage.
*Just a last thought. In this joke that we call Life, how many people are there, who have passed us by, that are almost as good as being dead to us now?
posted by 逍遥老头 at 2:09 PM
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