Never assume all your friends think alike
No so long ago, I told 2 friends something personal that (at that time) I felt was appropriate to share. One of them repeated what I said to our group of friends. Factually speaking, I did not explicitly ask them to keep it a secret. One would have thought It is implied and common sense not to go passing on personal thoughts of others. This is a social silent code among brothers aka 兄弟 and friends. Another reason why this is undesirable is that the person passing on the "personal thoughts" may not be able to convey effectively what the source meant when he said what he said as the 3rd parties may not appreciate occasions and circumstances in which the "personal thoughts" are being shared in and hence will probably create misunderstandings and problems. It is usually best to have the "personal thoughts" come out directly from the source. People, being people, commonly just take the face value of information without digestion and comprehension. Which is why misinformation and social misunderstanding go hand in hand.
After the above episode was revealed, the weird thing is that he repeated this lapse in judgment immediately after. Two other friends who just became colleagues are lamenting on the difficulty and problem of separating friendship and work. Both of them shared their personal thoughts on this matter and their views on their work. However when one of them left us, and the other was doing the lamenting, my misguided friend voiced out that it is interesting to compare their views of each other during work. Women, being woman, naturally thought that a negative remark about her was made by. Although luckily my lady friend is still an easy-going person, a small wedge might have been driven between my 2 friends. Hopefully no major conflicts erupted between them, as all these small things can add up negatively.
Although a bit disappointed, I am not angry or anything else as it seems to be my friend. It is his nature to act this way. He is a nice and clever chap and should be the type that are aware of how politics can be but maybe it is just that he is not careful socially. Also, however other people perceive me, in good or bad light, factually or superficially, ultimately I am who I am, even if it might cause problems in the future.
After the above episode was revealed, the weird thing is that he repeated this lapse in judgment immediately after. Two other friends who just became colleagues are lamenting on the difficulty and problem of separating friendship and work. Both of them shared their personal thoughts on this matter and their views on their work. However when one of them left us, and the other was doing the lamenting, my misguided friend voiced out that it is interesting to compare their views of each other during work. Women, being woman, naturally thought that a negative remark about her was made by. Although luckily my lady friend is still an easy-going person, a small wedge might have been driven between my 2 friends. Hopefully no major conflicts erupted between them, as all these small things can add up negatively.
Although a bit disappointed, I am not angry or anything else as it seems to be my friend. It is his nature to act this way. He is a nice and clever chap and should be the type that are aware of how politics can be but maybe it is just that he is not careful socially. Also, however other people perceive me, in good or bad light, factually or superficially, ultimately I am who I am, even if it might cause problems in the future.
posted by 逍遥老头 at 10:47 AM
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