What are Friends for?

Previously I had lent a substantial amount of money to a friend. I din really want to but my friend pleaded it out basing on the length of our friendship and that the loan can be repaid easily once the cash flow is resolved. In my moment of weakness, I relented because I believed the loan was within the ability of my friend, and with the condition that this is only a one time thing (which was also acknowledged by my friend). While it wasn't repaid on the promised date, it was eventually repaid in full 3 weeks down the road.

Unfortunately and as predicted, i was asked again to provide a much larger loan, and to which i did not agree to. And to my relief, this issue was not brought up again.

In retrospect, the following things are observed :

1. All borrowers will always say that the loan can be repaid easily. But they will usually miss the first promised date of repayment, be it due to time needed to transfer or gather their money.
   


2. A suspicion that the refusal to provide a subsequent loan will sour the friendship. (i.e you have the money sitting in the bank anyway, why not lent your friend? or the guilt factor playing its drama in your mind)
   


3. I would think that i am normally generous with friends in terms of treats and probably a loan of few hundreds dollars can be dispensed easily as i believe our friendship will be treasured over a few hundred bucks. In the event, the loan is unpaid despite one reminder, i would not asked for it back. But the value of that friendship will be reassessed.
   


4. However, a substantial amount is way too serious to test a friendship. This particular sentence makes me wonder about my own values. Is money more important than friendship? Am i really money-minded etc etc.
   
   The answer was in my memory. More than 5 years ago, when i loaned a few hundreds of dollars to another friend during the early days of our working lives, i sms " what are friends for" in reply to his sms of "thanks". The retort from this friend was that friends are not meant for borrowing money and it was not easy for him to lower his pride to ask for a loan. So this was not to be taken lightly. No one wants to borrow from another person if they could help it.
   


5. When you do lend money to any one, the recipient will always feel pressured when you ask about repayment or even talk about money/finance etc. Either they will think that you do not trust them or there is no intention to repay. And they will accuse you of it. This is human nature. As a result, you will feel guilty.

The conclusion to this post? It is in your heart.