Monday, December 28, 2009

C'est La Vie

Received SMS from Bernard that Adrian Lee is in coma after having a seizure in the sea.

The first question to come was of course, which Adrian is it?

And it took me 2 days to finally remember which Adrian he is.

Crap.

I mean we were same class during our Uni first year. What happened, such that i could not match a face to this name. The truth is that we drifted apart after first year due to RE/BU streaming.

But still, if i'm in SG, i would go and see him, maybe for the last time. We did have some fun times together then. He's a talkative guy who likes to debate and talk all sort of nonesense with me or anyone in general. The last time we spoke was on yahoo this year.

Hmm... feeling crappy now... Maybe subconsciously, i dun want want the name to be that of some one that i do know again? Trying to give myself an excuse? Maybe....

Nevertheless my dear Adrian, not sure when u will be leaving us. But just want u to know i dun regret knowing u. Cheers my friend. Be in peace.

Post note - 3 Jan 10: Go in peace my friend.

Labels:

Friday, October 23, 2009

Some thoughts but too lazy

Sometimes i wanted to write something here. But just too lazy to pen my thoughts down. Is this a sign of aging?

It is easier to put a line down at facebook these days.

Oh well. 随缘吧。

Labels:

Monday, July 27, 2009

The Tao of Being Slow and Steady - Being Still

Being human, we all have the tendency to do things fast so that we could go on to do more things. Or we tend to "multi-task" for the same reason. The underlying reason for our fast-paced life is to do more things so as to maximise our limited time on earth.

However in one's rush, human tends to make mistakes and waste more time instead. An oxymoron that one tends to forget sometimes.

Looking back to my own experience with Aikido and Taichi, these 2 counterintuitive arts teaches one to be slow and steady instead so that one could be faster in mastering them.

I was reminded of this principle again while i was drawing lines to cross out items on a list using an ink-based pen. Anyone using a normal ink-based pen would know that using one to draw a line can be irritating as the ink rarely flows evenly, especially when you trying to draw your line fast. To draw an even line, you would have to draw on your pen slowly with steady pressure.

This makes me ponder about the times of my life when mistakes are made. Most of them occur when i was rushing. Also, we are conditioned to be fast by this fast-paced society which demands speed and efficiency in all areas.

So how does being slow and steady makes one faster? By being efficient. Fast and Efficiency are not synomous bedfellows. More often than not, they are quite exclusive. One could always fast, but one is never always efficient; i.e mistakes. It is counterintuitive but it makes sense.

Does that mean one should do things slow all the time to achieve efficiency? The prinicple of Tao implies that being slow or fast is being relative. Being steady is the key to the speed in which one should move.

And how does one be steady?

By having a still mind. Having a still mind is like being at the centre of a vortex. Center/mind is calm while everything else moves around it.

Mind you, having a still mind is not easy. But one can start by being slow and steady, where eventually one will slow down and become still.

Labels:

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Do not go gentle into that good night

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning
they Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas (1914–1953)

Labels:

Friday, July 03, 2009

The Words of Jiddu Krishnamurti

Extracted from Wikipedia.

"You may remember the story of how the devil and a friend of his were walking down the street, when they saw ahead of them a man stoop down and pick up something from the ground, look at it, and put it away in his pocket. The friend said to the devil, 'What did that man pick up?' 'He picked up a piece of the truth,' said the devil. 'That is a very bad business for you, then,' said his friend. 'Oh, not at all,' the devil replied, 'I am going to help him organize it.'

I maintain that truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect. That is my point of view, and I adhere to that absolutely and unconditionally. Truth, being limitless, unconditioned, unapproachable by any path whatsoever, cannot be organized; nor should any organization be formed to lead or coerce people along a particular path."

"All authority of any kind, especially in the field of thought and understanding, is the most destructive, evil thing. Leaders destroy the followers and followers destroy the leaders. You have to be your own teacher and your own disciple. You have to question everything that man has accepted as valuable, as necessary."

" 'Truth is a pathless land'. Man cannot come to it through any organization, through any creed, through any dogma, priest or ritual, nor through any philosophical knowledge or psychological technique. He has to find it through the mirror of relationship, through the understanding of the contents of his own mind, through observation, and not through intellectual analysis or introspective dissection. Man has built in himself images as a sense of security—religious, political, personal. These manifest as symbols, ideas, beliefs. The burden of these dominates man's thinking, relationships and his daily life. These are the causes of our problems for they divide man from man in every relationship."

"...So, we are enquiring into what makes a bird. What is creation behind all this? Are you waiting for me to describe it, go into it? You want me to go into it? Why (From the audience: To understand what creation is[)]. Why do you ask that? Because I asked? No description can ever describe the origin. The origin is nameless; the origin is absolutely quiet, it's not whirring about making noise. Creation is something that is most holy, that's the most sacred thing in life, and if you have made a mess of your life, change it. Change it today, not tomorrow. If you are uncertain, find out why and be certain. If your thinking is not straight, think straight, logically. Unless all that is prepared, all that is settled, you can't enter into this world, into the world of creation."

"How is the mind which functions on knowledge – how is the brain which is recording all the time – to end, to see the importance of recording and not let it move in any other direction? Very simply: you insult me, you hurt me, by word, gesture, by an actual act; that leaves a mark on the brain which is memory. That memory is knowledge, that knowledge is going to interfere in my meeting you next time – obviously. ... Knowledge is necessary to act in the sense of my going home from here to the place I live; I must have knowledge for this; I must have knowledge to speak English; I must have knowledge to write a letter and so on. Knowledge as function, mechanical function, is necessary. Now if I use that knowledge in my relationship with you, another human being, I am bringing about a barrier, a division between you and me, namely the observer. That is, knowledge, in relationship, in human relationship, is destructive. That is knowledge which is the tradition, the memory, the image, which the mind has built about you, that knowledge is separative and therefore creates conflict in our relationship."

"The brain has been trained to record for in that recording there is safety, security, a sense of vitality; in that recording the mind creates the image about oneself. And that image will constantly get hurt. Is it possible to live without a single image about yourself, or about your husband, wife, children, or about the politicians, the priests, or about the ideal? It is possible, and if it is not found you will always be getting hurt, always living in a pattern in which there is no freedom. When you give complete attention there is no recording. It is only when there is inattention that you record. That is: you flatter me; I like it; the liking at that moment is inattention therefore recording takes place. But if when you flatter me I listen to it completely without any reaction, then there is no center which records."

"The brain is the source of thought. The brain is matter and thought is matter. Can the brain – with all its reactions and its immediate responses to every challenge and demand – can the brain be very still? It is not a question of ending thought, but of whether the brain can be completely still? This stillness is not physical death. See what happens when the brain is completely still."

“Fear is always in relation to something; it does not exist by itself. There is fear of what happened yesterday in relation to the possibility of its repetition tomorrow; there is always a fixed point from which relationship takes place. How does fear come into this? I had pain yesterday; there is the memory of it and I do not want it again tomorrow. Thinking about the pain of yesterday, thinking which involves the memory of yesterday’s pain, projects the fear of having pain again tomorrow. So it is thought that brings about fear. Thought breeds fear; thought also cultivates pleasure. To understand fear you must also understand pleasure – they are interrelated; without understanding one you cannot understand the other. This means that one cannot say ‘I must only have pleasure and no fear’; fear is the other side of the coin which is called pleasure.

Thinking with the images of yesterday’s pleasure, thought imagines that you may not have that pleasure tomorrow; so thought engenders fear. Thought tries to sustain pleasure and thereby nourishes fear.

Thought has separated itself as the analyzer and the thing to be analyzed; they are both parts of thought playing tricks upon itself. In doing all this it is refusing to examine the unconscious fears; it brings in time as a means of escaping fear and yet at the same time sustains fear.”

“A mind that is in meditation is concerned only with meditation, not with the meditator. The meditator is the observer, the senser, the thinker, the experiencer, and when there is the experiencer, the thinker, then he is concerned with reaching out, gaining, achieving, experiencing. And that thing which is timeless cannot be experienced. There is no experience at all. There is only that which is not nameable.”
“You know, in all this there are various powers like clairvoyance, reading somebody’s thought – which is the most disgusting thing to do: it is like reading letters that are private. There are various powers. You know what I am talking about, don’t you? You call them siddhis, don’t you? Do you know that all these things are like candles in the sun? When there is no sun there is darkness, and then the candle and the light of the candle become very important. But when there is the sun, the light, the beauty, the clarity, then all these powers, these siddhis – developing various centres, chakras, kundalini, you know all that business – are like candlelight; they have no value at all. And when you have that light, you don’t want anything else.”

"Meditation is one of the greatest arts in life-perhaps the greatest, and one cannot possibly learn it from anybody, that is the beauty of it. It has no technique and therefore no authority. When you learn about yourself, watch yourself, watch the way you walk, how you eat, what you say, the gossip, the hate, the jealousy-if you are aware of all that in yourself, without any choice, that is part of meditation."

“Man, in order to escape his conflicts, has invented many forms of meditation. These have been based on desire, will, and the urge for achievement, and imply conflict and a struggle to arrive. This conscious, deliberate striving is always within the limits of a conditioned mind, and in this there is no freedom. All effort to meditate is the denial of meditation. Meditation is the ending of thought. It is only then that there is a different dimension which is beyond time.”

“Meditation is the emptying of the mind of all thought, for thought and feeling dissipate energy. They are repetitive, producing mechanical activities which are a necessary part of existence. But they are only part, and thought and feeling cannot possibly enter into the immensity of life. Quite a different approach is necessary, not the path of habit, association and the known; there must be freedom from these. Meditation is the emptying of the mind of the known. It cannot be done by thought or by the hidden prompting of thought, nor by desire in the form of prayer, nor through the self-effacing hypnotism of words, images, hopes, and vanities. All these have to come to an end, easily, without effort and choice, in the flame of awareness.”

"If you are not at all concerned with the world but only with your personal salvation, following certain beliefs and superstitions, following gurus, then I am afraid it will be impossible for you and the speaker to communicate with each other. We are not concerned at all with private personal salvation but we are concerned, earnestly, seriously, with what the human mind has become, what humanity is facing. We are concerned at looking at this world and what a human being living in this world has to do, what is his role?"

“The present crisis is different because we are dealing not with money, not with tangible things but with ideas. The crisis is in the field of thought, of ideas, of intellect. Before, evil was recognized as evil, murder was recognized as murder, but now murder is a means to achieve a noble result. You justify the wrong means through the intellect. When intellect has the upper hand in human life, it brings an unprecedented crisis. The other cause of this unprecedented crisis is the extraordinary importance man is giving to sensate values - to property, to name, to caste, to country.”

Labels:

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

It doesn't matter

Saw this interesting article.

ON AGING.

Last year someone gave me a charming book by Roger Rosenblatt called ‘Ageing Gracefully’ I got it on my birthday. I did not appreciate the title at the time but it contains a series of rules for ageing gracefully. The first rule is the best. Rule number one is that ‘it doesn’t matter.’ ‘It doesn’t matter that what you think. Follow this rule and it will add decades to your life. It does not matter if you are late or early, if you are here or there, if you said it or didn’t say it, if you are clever or if you were stupid. If you were having a bad hair day or a no hair day or if your boss looks at you cockeyed or your boyfriend or girlfriend looks at you cockeyed, if you are cockeyed. If you don’t get that promotion or prize or house or if you do – it doesn’t matter.’

Wisdom at last. Then I heard a marvellous joke that seemed related to rule number 10.

A butcher was opening his market one morning and as he did a rabbit popped his head through the door. The butcher was surprised when the rabbit inquired ‘Got any cabbage?’ The butcher said ‘This is a meat market – we sell meat, not vegetables.’ The rabbit hopped off.

The next day the butcher is opening the shop and sure enough the rabbit pops his head round and says ‘You got any cabbage?’ The butcher now irritated says ‘Listen you little rodent I told you yesterday we sell meat, we do not sell vegetables and the next time you come here I am going to grab you by the throat and nail those floppy ears to the floor.’ The rabbit disappeared hastily and nothing happened for a week.

Then one morning the rabbit popped his head around the corner and said ‘Got any nails?’ The butcher said ‘No.’ The rabbit said ‘Ok. Got any cabbage?’

What does all that mean ? Ha.

Labels:

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

What are Friends for?

Previously I had lent a substantial amount of money to a friend. I din really want to but my friend pleaded it out basing on the length of our friendship and that the loan can be repaid easily once the cash flow is resolved. In my moment of weakness, I relented because I believed the loan was within the ability of my friend, and with the condition that this is only a one time thing (which was also acknowledged by my friend). While it wasn't repaid on the promised date, it was eventually repaid in full 3 weeks down the road.

Unfortunately and as predicted, i was asked again to provide a much larger loan, and to which i did not agree to. And to my relief, this issue was not brought up again.

In retrospect, the following things are observed :


  1. All borrowers will always say that the loan can be repaid easily. But they will usually miss the first promised date of repayment, be it due to time needed to transfer or gather their money.

  2. A suspicion that the refusal to provide a subsequent loan will sour the friendship. (i.e you have the money sitting in the bank anyway, why not lent your friend? or the guilt factor playing its drama in your mind)

  3. I would think that i am normally generous with friends in terms of treats and probably a loan of few hundreds dollars can be dispensed easily as i believe our friendship will be treasured over a few hundred bucks. In the event, the loan is unpaid despite one reminder, i would not asked for it back. But the value of that friendship will be reassessed.

  4. However, a substantial amount is way too serious to test a friendship. This particular sentence makes me wonder about my own values. Is money more important than friendship? Am i really money-minded etc etc.

    The answer was in my memory. More than 5 years ago, when i loaned a few hundreds of dollars to another friend during the early days of our working lives, i sms " what are friends for" in reply to his sms of "thanks". The retort from this friend was that friends are not meant for borrowing money and it was not easy for him to lower his pride to ask for a loan. So this was not to be taken lightly. No one wants to borrow from another person if they could help it.

  5. When you do lend money to any one, the recipient will always feel pressured when you ask about repayment or even talk about money/finance etc. Either they will think that you do not trust them or there is no intention to repay. And they will accuse you of it. This is human nature. As a result, you will feel guilty.

The conclusion to this post? It is in your heart.

Labels:

Monday, March 30, 2009

Buy the ticket, take the ride.

Was clicking around on the net when i came to this wikipedia page on Hunter S. Thompson.

Seems like we could have been good friends, i think. Wondering if i can get a hold of any of his books in AD.

Hmm...

Labels: